Matt Damon as Ranting 13-Year-Old

[youtube=http://youtu.be/Ef3rm9PXdCI]
I would love to see this scene reenacted in costume by Matt Damon (yes, including the Mario backpack). No smile. No breaking the fourth wall with a knowing smirk at the camera. Just a word-for-word reenactment in this exact set.
That, my friends, would be a thing of beauty.